Our story so far...

The Worth of the Cool

in which Ashley examines the rich history of Coolness itself.

Health and Swellness

in which Ashley resents well-adjusted, extroverted people.


Physician, Keel Thyself

in which Ashley describes the benefits of doctors who are sicker than patients.


The Movie Everyone Saw

in which Ashley experiences the mystical significance of a truly terrible film.


King of Stain

in which Ashley eulogizes the most irritating dog who ever lived. And lived and lived.


The Music is Reversible, But Time is Not

in which Ashley relives his personal relationship with the stereophonic hi-fidelity phonographic system.


The Mouth Shall Rise Again

in which Ashley suggests that a Southern accent is a curable speech impediment.


Generation Wrecks

in which Ashley comes to terms with his place as a generational stereotype.


The Litter of Quitters

in which Ashley empathizes with those who quit smoking on a regular basis.


Too Cool for Drool

in which Ashley laments the gawky girl who got away.



Zen and the Art of Throwing Away Broken Junk

in which Ashley fails to repair an iPod.